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Live fully (Quotes to live by)

Today's quote is a lovely poem from Khalil Gibran

Don't live a half life

Do not love half lovers
Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life and do not die a half death

If you choose silence, then be silent
When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent
If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it
If you refuse then be clear about it
for an ambiguous refusal
is but a weak acceptance

Do not accept half a solution
Do not believe half truths
Do not dream half a dream
Do not fantasize about half hopes

Half a drink will not quench your thirst
Half a meal will not satiate your hunger
Half the way will get you no where
Half an idea will bear you no results

Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said
A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know
To reach and not arrive
Work and not work
Attend only to be absent
What makes you a...

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On empathy and kindness (Quotes to live by)

Maya Angelou lived a challenging life. What is so inspiring about her work and words is that she did not lose hope and she believed in the inherent goodness of people (despite how many of them had treated her).

She believed that no matter how we have been treated, we can choose not to pass on the pain to others:

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. Maya Angelou

Her words encourage kindness, love and connection. Here are my some of my favourites:

At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou

Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm, when we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike.
Maya Angelou

If you have only one smile in you, give it...

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The good news and bad news about time (Quotes to live by)

How often do we put off things that are important but not urgent? We seem to be waiting for some undetermined future in which we will have "more time" to do things that matter.

I love this quote from the Buddha on the uncertainty of life and the fragility of time:

The trouble is, you think you have time
The Buddha

And this one about the passage of time:

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.
Michael Althsuler

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The way of love (Quotes to live by)

And another favourite from Rumi today:

The way of love

The way of love is not
a subtle argument.

The door there
is devastation.

Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?

They fall, and falling,
they're given wings.

Isn't that beautiful? How do you understand these verses?

Here is one interpretation (there are many more of course – the beauty of Rumi is that he can speak about Divine love and earthly love using the same words)

True love is a demanding thing...and it is an argument...with yourself and your lover...an argument because you are desiring love and afraid of love in the same breath...an argument because you and your lover are different and are trying to become more like one within each other...

"the door there is devastation"...the entry way to love is passed through by holding yourself open to great risk...risk of vulnerability, of rejection, of being hurt, of being out of control, of "falling"...

For Divine love, and for earthly love to...

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The journey towards wisdom

The journey to writing the "Daily Wisdom" emails started when I was a child.

An avid reader from nursery school, I would mark up my books with writing that I enjoyed and which inspired me. I started curating a collection of quotes while I was still in elementary school. These handwritten quotes still dwell in an old yellowing notebook titled "Quotable Quotes". It is quite interesting to reflect on my personal journey of emotional and spiritual maturity through the quotes that I have gathered over the years.

The words of wisdom that I still gather (now in Evernote!) from books and people, in poetry and prose, inspire me to live up to my full potential, to do the right thing and to see the bigger picture. They validate my life experiences, encourage me to try harder when I feel discouraged and provide a healing balm to the heart on days when sadness and negativity overcome joy and positivity.

As we celebrate the now over 200 editions of Daily Wisdom (can you believe it? small steps do...

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Do you really want to ruin your relationship?

Over the past few weeks we have been sharing ways you can unknowingly ruin your relationship. Some of the posts were difficult to read and I really appreciate you hanging in there and continuing despite the discomfort you may have felt. The fact that you are still reading is a sign of your commitment not to ruin your relationship.

As you read the various posts, what did you notice?

I really hope that you sometimes caught yourself in the act of doing things that would ruin your relationship. (And we all do some of these things some of the time, by the way) I hope that you became more aware of your attitudes and behaviours that could damage your marriage if left unchecked. I pray that you paused for a moment at times, and asked yourself: Do I really want to ruin a perfectly good relationship?

If, on the other hand, while reading the emails you only reconfirmed how your spouse is ruining the relationship – you get absolutely no points for that! You actually did not need these...

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And the number one way to ruin your relationship is . . . (How to ruin a perfectly good relationship)

Over these past few weeks you have learnt many ways to destroy a relationship if you wanted to. We also talked about how to save and protect your marriage if that is what you wish for.

Today, let us talk about the single most effective way to destroy a perfectly good relationship . . .

Have an affair

Of course, you are not going to wake up one morning and say to yourself "I'm going to destroy my relationship by having an affair". No - the path to this destruction needs to be paved slowly and in small steps.

Here is how to begin:

First stage:

  • Have an unexplained discontent with your spouse – but do not discuss it with them or give them a chance to fix things. Keep all your resentments inside, allowing them to fester
  • Feel that you are trapped in your marriage
  • Have an overwhelming sense that your needs are not being met – that you are giving more than you are getting, that your spouse doesn't understand or appreciate you (and make them wrong for not being able to read...
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Keep secrets and tell lies (How to ruin a perfectly good relationship)

If safety is the foundation of a healthy relationship, trust is the bedrock of that foundation. Marriage relationships can survive many storms and weather some neglect. Long term lack of trust though, weakens its very foundation, destroys the institution and leaves a mere shell of a relationship.

A VERY effective way to begin the slow weakening of your marriage is to keep secrets from your spouse and lie to them about small as well as important things. The longer you continue to abuse the trust that your spouse has likely placed in you, the more difficult it will be to repair the damage that you have done when you are found out – and you will be found out for sure eventually.

Here are five ways that secrets and lies lead you down the slippery slope of marriage destruction:

1) When you continue to lie and keep secrets, you will ensure that your spouse will develop a nagging feeling that something is not quite right. They will have a lingering feeling that you do not truly love...

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Refuse professional help when you need it (How to ruin a perfectly good relationship)

If you could have solved certain issues in your relationship, you would have done it by now. If your spouse is requesting (begging) for you or the two of you to seek professional help, it is likely because the both of you are stuck in an unhealthy relationship pattern which you have been unable to move beyond. Or you have gone through something that is tearing your relationship apart.

In order to destroy your relationship, Pat Love suggests that you say a version of the following to your spouse when they request you to accompany them to therapy:

"I know more about me than any therapist"
"Those guys are crazier than their patients"
"I don't need some jerk poking around in my private life"
"It's pouring money down the drain"
"You're the one who needs a shrink"
"I just don't believe in it"

Saying things like the above will ensure that your spouse feels not only frustrated and helpless but also loses hope in the future of your relationship together.

If you want to turn your relationship...

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Adopt an addiction (How to ruin a perfectly good relationship)

There are many reasons why you may be addicted to substances, to pornography or to technology. Reasons such as mental health issues, family history of addiction or mental illness, former abuse that you have experienced and possibly trauma.

None of these are your fault.

Living with the impact of your addictions, however, is very challenging for your spouse and unless you do something about it, you will almost certainly destroy your relationship.

Addiction is not something you can deal with on your own. If you had the internal resources to deal with these challenges, you would not be addicted in the first place.

Start by taking the first step – face up to the reality of your addiction and agree to getting help. You may be surprised at how supportive your spouse is in your journey to healing if they know that you are doing what you can to help yourself.

Here is a link to a Help Guide for Addictions
https://www.helpguide.org/home-pages/addictions.htm

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