Always Being Right (DW#504)
With this distortion, the idea that we could be wrong is absolutely unacceptable, and we will fight to the metaphorical death to prove that we are right. We can see this distortion quite easily on social media platforms where people sometimes spend hours arguing with each other over an opinion or political issue far beyond the point where reasonable individuals would conclude that they should "agree to disagree". To them, it is not simply a matter of a difference of opinion, it is an intellectual battle that must be won at all costs. The idea that there may be another equally valid opinion is quite alien.
As you can imagine, always being right can make us slightly (!) insufferable, tiring and difficult to live with. Those around us will eventually give up trying to get us to widen our perspective and make room for another view. They will withdraw from the relationship rather than make every discussion a battle ground about who is right.
If we are susceptible to this kind of thinking pattern, it may be very valuable to remind ourselves that "we can either be right or we can be happy".
Despite the reminder, some of us will still choose to be right over happy. I often see this kind of thinking pattern with people who come to ‘fix’ others in the relationship while not being willing to look at their own part in creating that relationship.
When we are thinking like this, we can be closed to advice or counsel from others. Since we can do no wrong, we have no room for improvement. We may die alone and miserable, but at least we will be right!
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