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You and your chisel(DW #824)

self compassion self reflection Oct 22, 2020

Yesterday we spoke about how Michelangelo used his chisel to expose the latent beauty in a block of marble. And how we can also chip away at the barriers which stand between ourselves and the best versions of ourselves.

Interestingly, the English word character comes from the Greek word that means "chisel" or more accurately, "the mark left by a chisel."

How cool is that!

Ourcharacteris formed by achisel. Just as the chisel is a small instrument, which can chip away at that block of marble in tiny tiny movements, our character is formed by the small choices that we make in the moments of our lives.

At any given time, we are chipping away at positive choices and harming our character OR we are chipping away at poor choices and creating a character worthy of ourselves.

Character is formed by the small choices that we make moment by moment by moment. Our choices add up over time to form and reveal our character.

So, let us ask...

Speaking of congratulations . . .(DW #815)

motivation self compassion selfdevelopment Oct 09, 2020

How often do we stop, reflect on how far we have come, acknowledge progress and celebrate small and big wins?
Turns out, this is rather important for motivation and change.
So today, take a few moments to congratulate yourself for any progress that you have made till today in the different areas of your life.

For those of us who are super self-critical, this will be challenging and feel weird.

That is okay. Do it anyway.

Always do your best(DW #813)

family self compassion self development Oct 07, 2020

Do you have good days and bad days? Days when it is easy to live up to your ideal self and other days it is a struggle?
Yes? Me too.

This is normal.

If we remove the idea of perfection from the equation, we will become more comfortable with the idea that doing our best will change from day to day.
There will be days when we have slept well, had a good morning and are easily able to be our best selves. Being patient with our families and able to focus on work and be productive.
And other days, not so much.

We may be tired, hungry, "hangry", have "woken up from the wrong side of the bed", are overwhelmed with work or family dramas. Our best on days like this will not be as stellar as an easy day.
We can still do our best, taking into account everything that is going on in our lives.

This kind of thinking is so freeing. Please try it for yourself.
If you are struggling during the pandemic to be as patient or productive as you would like to be, it will be a great time to practice...

Decide how you will manage this relationship(DW# 793)

compassion family relationships self compassion Jul 07, 2020

Once you have had time to process the emotional abuse and taken stock of its cost to you and to your life, you will need to decide what to do about this relationship.

Take the time you need to do this. It is not a good idea to hurry the process. It is not a good idea to make significant life decisions or to end/leave relationships when you are at the peak of emotional distress.

Some relationships are easier to let go of than others, of course. If gaslighting or emotional abuse is a part of a work relationship or a relatively new friendship, it is easier to walk away than when it is from a close family member or a spouse.

Please know that there is no right or wrong answer here. It is up to you whether you choose to continue or end this relationship. Please remind yourself that it is your situation and that your decision is valid even if other people in your life do not agree with it.

Before you decide, here are some options to consider:

You can walk...

Reminding ourselves of the options(DW#745 )

communication feelings self compassion self development Apr 24, 2020

Some of us need to reminded that even as parents and adults, we do not have to always be in the giving position. That it may be harder to ask for help than to offer it AND if we challenge ourselves to learn to ask for help, we will be doing ourselves and those in relationship to us, a big favour!

So here are some ways to remind ourselves of this:

I can share my needs with trusted people.

I can ask for help or advice.

I am not alone, even if it sometimes feels like I am.

I do not have to do it all by myself.

I don’t have to make my life harder than it is at the moment.

Contrary to what my thoughts lead me to believe sometimes, it is not reasonable to expect that people "should" know what I need.

I can ask to be listened to.

I can ask for a night off from chores. Or a whole day!

I can let others know that I need privacy or space.

I can let others know that I am hurt or upset.

I can share what is really going on for me.
It is okay for me to feel overwhelmed at...

Take a self-compassion break (DW#730 )

self awareness self compassion self effectionns Apr 03, 2020

While some of us manage our anxiety through being hyper productive and busy, others struggle to get anything done at all. Some of us eat too much, sleep too much and others find it hard to sleep or eat much at all. All these and other ways you are coping these days are all "normal" responses in times of crisis.

The key is to remember to show kindness and compassion to ourselves regardless of the method we are using to cope. We do NOT need to add self-criticism and self-judgement on top of all the stress we are going through right now.

Research into the practice of self-compassion shows that the practice builds resilience and helps us cope with adversity. Importantly for these times, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to reduce trauma and PTSD among war veterans. In other words, if we practice self-compassion, we are more likely to cope better with adversity and build resilience in the face of challenges.

The practice itself is very simple. The...

Blog

You and your chisel(DW #824)

Speaking of congratulations . . .(DW #815)

Always do your best(DW #813)

Decide how you will manage this relationship(DW# 793)

Reminding ourselves of the options(DW#745 )

Take a self-compassion break (DW#730 )

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