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Decide how you will manage this relationship(DW# 793)

Once you have had time to process the emotional abuse and taken stock of its cost to you and to your life, you will need to decide what to do about this relationship.

 

Take the time you need to do this. It is not a good idea to hurry the process. It is not a good idea to make significant life decisions or to end/leave relationships when you are at the peak of emotional distress.

 

Some relationships are easier to let go of than others, of course. If gaslighting or emotional abuse is a part of a work relationship or a relatively new friendship, it is easier to walk away than when it is from a close family member or a spouse.

 

Please know that there is no right or wrong answer here. It is up to you whether you choose to continue or end this relationship. Please remind yourself that it is your situation and that your decision is valid even if other people in your life do not agree with it.

 

Before you decide, here are some options to consider:

 

You can walk...
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Reminding ourselves of the options(DW#745 )

Some of us need to reminded that even as parents and adults, we do not have to always be in the giving position. That it may be harder to ask for help than to offer it AND if we challenge ourselves to learn to ask for help, we will be doing ourselves and those in relationship to us, a big favour!

So here are some ways to remind ourselves of this:
 
I can share my needs with trusted people.
I can ask for help or advice.
I am not alone, even if it sometimes feels like I am.
I do not have to do it all by myself.
I don’t have to make my life harder than it is at the moment.
 
Contrary to what my thoughts lead me to believe sometimes, it is not reasonable to expect that people "should" know what I need.
 
I can ask to be listened to.
I can ask for a night off from chores. Or a whole day!
I can let others know that I need privacy or space.
I can let others know that I am hurt or upset.
I can share what is really going on for me.
It is okay for me to feel overwhelmed at...
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Take a self-compassion break (DW#730 )

While some of us manage our anxiety through being hyper productive and busy, others struggle to get anything done at all. Some of us eat too much, sleep too much and others find it hard to sleep or eat much at all. All these and other ways you are coping these days are all "normal" responses in times of crisis.

 

The key is to remember to show kindness and compassion to ourselves regardless of the method we are using to cope. We do NOT need to add self-criticism and self-judgement on top of all the stress we are going through right now.

 

Research into the practice of self-compassion shows that the practice builds resilience and helps us cope with adversity. Importantly for these times, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to reduce trauma and PTSD among war veterans. In other words, if we practice self-compassion, we are more likely to cope better with adversity and build resilience in the face of challenges.

 

The practice itself is very simple. The...
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