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Listen with LUV (DW#734)

family pandemic stress Apr 09, 2020
We have been talking about checking in with ourselves and sharing our emotional world with our loved ones.

Today let us look around and see how others in our family are coping.

If there are upsurges and down surges of moods around right now, please know that this is to be expected. If people are more short tempered or irritable, please cut them some slack.

Everyone in our family is also going through their own stress right now and there is no manual (yet!) on how families can cope through a global pandemic. I have no doubt that we will settle into a new normal and adjust to changing circumstances and it will take some time.

In the meantime, let us develop a habit of checking in with those around us as well.

Before we explore some ways to check in with those around us, let us remind ourselves that when they do share, to listen with LUV.

Here is what I mean:

•       LISTEN with your ears, eyes and heart to understand their...
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Do you feel guilty about negative feelings?(DW#732 )

Over the last few days I have been hearing some version of the following over and over again:
 
"I shouldn’t complain. I have it so much better than so many other people". "I am missing this and that. But really I should not feel bad about it. So much bigger stuff going on in the world".
 
This is true. Alhamdullilah. We certainly have it better than many many people in the world who are suffering so much. And it is very good to remind ourselves of that from time to time especially when we go down a negative thought spiral.
 
But here’s the thing: it is also okay to feel sad about something small that meant something to you. Disappointment over something that you were looking forward to that got cancelled. That you cannot invite anyone over for a barbeque even though the weather is getting better. That your favourite restaurant has closed its doors for ever. That you cannot run out and get something from the store.
 
That single mom who is also a...
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Recognize and act within your circle of control (DW#727 )

One of the most important things we can do to cultivate resilience is to recognize our sense of agency.
 
Agency is simply a fancy word for how empowered you feel or how much control or power you feel over your own life. This is where your energy and strength come from.
 
The truth is that there are many many things outside our control. There always have been and always will be. The present world situation has simply brought these into sharp focus.

And the truth is also that some things always were and still remain with our control. (Can you see that?)
 
Now, when we focus our attention to things that are outside our control, we give up our sense of agency. We feel powerless and therefore hopeless.
 
The way out of this feeling of helplessness and the panic that ensues is to become more mindful of where we are focusing our attention.
 
Is it focused on things that are outside our control or those that we have control or power over?
 
When going...
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