Blog
Learning from Michelangelo(DW #823)
All of us have within ourselves, a masterpiece. A best version of ourselves. Some great and hidden potential.
Getting help(DW# 794)
Understanding does not equal agreement(DW#742 )
One of the things that trips many of us when we are practicing validation is when the other person views things very differently from how we do.
For example, if our spouse gets upset at her co-worker because she is late to work every day, we may struggle to understand why this is such a big deal. It may not matter to us what time our co-workers get to work and we may even empathize with the co-worker because she is a single mother with small children.
It can be very challenging to listen to someone whose world view, thoughts and opinions are different from ours.
When this happens, we need to remind ourselves that listening and trying to understand where the other person does not...
A basic emotional check in(DW#735 )
Simply sharing and being able to speak about challenging situations and how they are impacting us can be very helpful in coping with these challenges.
Today’s check in is very simple:
At a set time each day (morning or evening), ask everyone around to rate their mood on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the worst mood and 10 being the best.
Please remember to listen with LUV and to resist offering "helpful advice" for now. The focus is simply to check in and validate whatever they may be feeling at the time.
Share your understanding of Love (DW#324)
Once you have compared your lists of what love means to you, please don’t stop there.
Use your lists to connect with your loved one.
Share your understanding of love. (Without trying to change the other person, okay?) What do the words mean to you? What significance do they have?
Great follow up questions are: How do you feel loved? What is most important in a relationship? How can I support that?
Questions such as these help you to get to know each other, they deepen the bond between you and they prevent the differences in views from becoming stumbling blocks to connection.
What's your take on Love? (DW#323)
Did you jot down a few words about what love means to you? (If not, please take 30 seconds to do that right now)
Now, have your spouse or significant other do the same. You can do this exercise with your children, or friends as well.
And then compare your lists.
Are there any words in common when you compare your lists? How many?
If you are like the vast majority of people, your lists will look more different than similar.
Are you surprised?
Most couples are surprised when they do this exercise. And sometimes they begin to think that this means that there is something wrong with their relationship…
But this is far from true. We develop our ideas about love and what it means throughout life with influences from various sources, family, friends, life experiences, media and our own way of thinking.
There is no problem in thinking differently about love. It can only become an issue in our relationships if we believe it is the ONLY way and the only RIGHT way to think about it.
Oh,...