Labeling (DW#490)
Of course, we can also label ourselves, which is equally unhelpful. Instead of saying "I made a mistake," you may attach a negative label to yourself: "I’m a loser."
Sometimes, we adopt a negative label for ourselves that others have used, and then use it to justify our negative behaviour because of the label.
"That is right, I have always been an angry person. That is why I cannot control my temper".
"You’re right. I am stubborn. And I won’t budge."
"I am a loser. So why should I try?"
When we label ourselves or others in this way, we mistake an action or behaviour for a character trait. And we know that behaviours and actions are much easier to change than the label attached to a person.
In the example above, what if the person picked up the socks from the floor? Would they still be a slob? What if they only picked up one?
What if the person yielded to your request once or twice? Would they still be stubborn?
What if the "loser" experienced success in only one area of their lives?
Can you see how dis-abling labels can be? Once we attach labels to someone, it is very hard for them (or ourselves) to disprove the label. The labels make us feel hopeless about changing things in the right direction.
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