Quit shoulding yourself – and others (DW#495)

Many of us have a list of "shoulds" and "musts" and "ought tos" for ourselves and others.

I should be a better mother
My children should be more grateful

I must never get angry
People should park properly
People ought to recycle everything

Here is the problem with shoulds and musts:

Shoulds that are directed against ourselves lead to guilt and frustration. They almost never lead to motivating ourselves to do better.

Shoulds and musts that are directed against other people or the world in general lead to anger and frustration. When people do not follow the unwritten rules for life that we have, we start giving them mental tickets and minus points. And that generally does NOT lead to any change or improvement in them or in our relationship with them.

Are you ready to quit shoulding and musting? Start by recognizing how many times you say these words out aloud or in your head. 

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