Separating feeling and acting (DW#469)

emotions self development Oct 10, 2018

Let's assume that we all agree that exercise is a good thing. 

Are you one of those lucky people who love to exercise and look forward to going to the gym? 

Or are you amongst those who don’t necessarily feel like it but decide to do it anyway because you recognize that it is good for you?

Or do you wait until you feel like exercising and then do it? (How long have you been waiting by the way?)

Even though we don’t always use it, human beings have the ability to not act on every feeling and to act even when we don’t feel like it. 

In other words, 

1)    We can do what needs to be done even if we don’t feel like it (exercise, go to work, cook dinner etc.)

 

2)    We can stop ourselves from doing things which will harm us, either now or in the future even if we really reallywant to do it (eat too much, have junk food, have a fight with the neighbor, tell our boss off . . .)


So we have the ability to go against our feelings and act according to what we value. 

This is what we call self control or impulse control and it is one of the key aspects of emotional intelligence. 

Impulse control is knowing how to stop and think when we have an impulse. It is the power to freeze our impulse long enough to think about whether or not it is a good idea to act upon it. Impulse control is like being the boss of your impulses. 

As Lao Tzu said: "He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still." 

Who is winning today? Your values or your impulses?

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