A gift to ourselves(DW# 797)
Jul 14, 2020
Dr. Lerner explains that a good apology can restore our own self respect and also how much others respect us.
Our self-respect and level of maturity rest squarely on our ability to see ourselves objectively, to take a clear-eyed look at the ways that our behavior affects others, and to acknowledge when we’ve acted at another person’s expense. The good apology also earns us respect in the eyes of others, even though we may fear the opposite.
I would add that although taking responsibility earns us respect in the eyes of others, the greater benefit is that we restore our own self respect and self esteem.
When our conscience is pricking because we have harmed someone, it is so easy to try and make ourselves feel better by trying to avert the blame from ourselves and onto the other person. This does NOT work. We may distract ourselves in the short term but it comes at enormous spiritual and emotional cost.
The path to apologizing may be difficult in the short run. But it is SOOO much easier in the long run.
So in addition to being a gift to the other person, a sincere apology is also a gift to ourselves.
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