Always be right (How to ruin a perfectly good relationship)

A really effective way to ruin a relationship is to insist on being right. All the time. To make this strategy even more effective, insist on being right, refuse to give in even on the smallest issues and insist on having the last word on every issue.

Oh, and do remind your spouse about how wrong they are and how right you are.

When your relationship suffers, you will at least have the consolation of knowing that you were right.

You may be alone and miserable but at least you are right.

If you do not want to wreck a relationship, on the other hand, you may want to reconsider the need to always be right.

You see, in happy relationships, couples often choose to be happy rather than being right.

They chose to be open to a different point of view than their own.

They consider the viewpoint of the other with some humility and with much kindness.

They recognize that when you insist on winning every argument, it is the relationship that ends up losing.

Happy couples chose to be open to influence from a loved one. (This apparently applies especially to husbands. Dr. Gottman maintains that one of the keys to a happy marriage is husbands who are emotionally intelligent and accept influence from their wives. Hey don't take my word for it. Here is Dr Gottman's take on it)

Of course, this does not imply that women could not learn a thing or two about resisting the temptation to have the last word . . .

So, here's the question: will you chose to be right or will you chose to be happy?

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