It’s not me, it’s you(DW# 772 )
Jun 09, 2020
Saying the word YOU after I am sorry will most likely invalidate your apology.
I’m sorry you feel that way
I’m sorry you think that way
I’m sorry you misinterpreted things
I’m sorry you are so sensitive
Even though these phrases begin with the words I am sorry, they are not really apologies at all. These phrases take no ownership of any wrongdoing. They do not communicate remorse for our actions nor express any empathy towards the other person’s feelings.
When we say I am sorry YOU, we are suggesting that the hurt party was wrong to feel upset or hurt. That they are being irrational or over sensitive.
This is not really an apology for our actions, is it?
A pretend apology like the above will result in increased anger as the offended person recognizes that they are being blamed instead of being apologized to.
There is, however, one way we can insert YOU in an apology and make it meaningful and here it is:
I am sorry. You are right, and I was wrong.
Hard to say sometimes, but so so meaningful and healing.
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