Make the bed a battle ground (How to ruin a perfectly good relationship)

Physical intimacy is what differentiates the marriage bond from other close relationships. So a very effective way to destroy your relationship is to use this special and sacred bond as a weapon of war with your spouse.

There are SO many ways to do this. Here are the top 6:

· Don't prioritize it – use kids, work, your to-do list, stress or any number of other excuses not to enjoy intimacy with your spouse.
· Withhold it as a punishment for other issues in your relationship. Hold onto unresolved grievance from the past as the reason. Insist that 'other issues need to be sorted out before we can be intimate'.
· If you are the partner with the lower desire, insist on controlling the frequency of your interaction. Give your spouse the cold shoulder when they make advances. Pretend to fall asleep or to have a headache. Fall for the modern myth about 'not doing it unless you really want to'. Make your spouse wrong for their desire. Say things like: "that's all you think about", "there is something wrong with you" etc. etc. Convince them that there is something wrong with them.
· If you are the partner with the higher desire, pay no attention to what happens outside the bedroom. Make your partner wrong for their lower desire and make no effort to talk about what would help.
· Never talk about what pleases you. Instead turn to pornography or other means to satisfy yourself while ignoring your spouse.
· Make a unilateral decision to turn your relationship into a platonic one. Turn away from your spouses advances consistently until they get confused, discouraged and depressed about your lack of interest.

If you wanted to keep your relationship vital and alive on the other hand, try this instead:

1) Make physical intimacy a priority. Schedule and plan it to avoid it being squeezed out of your relationship because of busy-ness.
2) Keep the bedroom a place of amnesty – a sacred place where you do not let conflicts intrude.
3) Show your spouse how to please you and ask them about what pleases them

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