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Paint a picture

Now that we are clear that negative emotions do not need to hold us back when setting goals, let us take one key area in our life and visualize what success looks like.

Go ahead and dream.

If you achieved WILD SUCCESS in this domain in your life, what would it look like?

If you had the job or the relationship of your dreams,

What would you be seeing?
What would you be hearing?
What would you be feeling?
How would your life be different?
Who would notice?

Dream big. This is not the time to be 'realistic' or 'reasonable'.

Allow yourself to picture what wild success looks like.

Are you smiling yet? Excited?

Good.

Meaningful goals should make you smile and get you excited.

(And maybe make you more than a little bit nervous!)

 

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You will not meet all the goals you set this year

Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!

You will probably not meet all the goals you set this year.

Most likely not.

Even with the the best intentions, the right plan and consistent effort, you may not meet all your goals.

So what?

Realistically speaking, with some smart goal setting and positioning yourself for success, you are likely to meet about 70% of the goals you set.

Of course, it is also possible that you may exceed some or all of the targets that you set for yourself.

And without concrete goals . . . .

Well, you already know what happens to all the new Year Resolutions that you have been making in the past.

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The one thing you must do before setting goals for next year

If you are anything like me, about this time every year, you ask yourself the same question: where did the year go?

Some of us get into a mad dash at the end of the year, trying to accomplish everything that we meant to do this year. Others are already thinking ahead to January and planning what goals they want to set for next year.

In order to start the year 2017 off well, there is a very important step we need to take right now.

Taking stock of this year as it ends.

Writing an end of year reflection is an excellent way to acknowledge your successes and wins and start considering where and how you might do better next year.

Begin by setting aside some time in your calendar over the next week to complete your end of year reflection. We will start going through some questions to help us with this starting tomorrow.

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Check your assumptions!

Human beings are meaning making machines. We often take 2 + 2 and make it 22, filling in all the missing numbers in our head.

Making assumptions, or mindreading as it is also called, is not always a problem. When I am grocery shopping for example, I will often pick up things that I assume my family will like.

Other times, however, when we make assumptions about what someone is thinking, why they are doing what they are doing or what they are thinking, we need to remind ourselves that it is very possible that our assumptions are wrong.

The only way to know for sure if our assumptions about someones behaviour or thinking is to check them out.

How? Just ask!

"why did you . . ."
"why didn't you . . ."
"am I right in thinking that . . ."
"would love to know your thoughts"
"how do you see this"
"am I right in thinking . . ."
"help me understand . . ."

This week just begin to notice how many times you are assuming what is the motive behind someone's action. And then check your assumptions. You...

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Perfection versus excellence

Let us talk about excellence. Excellence is "the quality of being outstanding or extremely good". Not perfect. Just "extremely good".

Compared to perfection, which can only be achieved in the final outcome, excellence is something that we can choose to practice moment by moment.

The standard of excellence empowers us to keep giving our best. It is focused on effort rather than outcome. On the process rather than the outcome. We could give it our best and achieve an excellent result, even though it is far from perfect.

This is why I call myself a recovering perfectionist. Each time the 'perfection monster' whispers in my ear: "You did not do that perfectly" or "That could have been much better", I remind myself how perfect is the enemy of good. And how done is better than perfect.

It is the only way to move forward, really.

How about you? Are you ready to try practicing excellence rather than pursuing perfection?

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Are you pursuing perfection?

The pursuit of perfection is one of those concepts that can keep us stuck and feeling disheartened in many areas of our life. We aim to be the perfect parent, the perfect spouse and the perfect human being.

The dictionary definition of perfect is: without fault, faultless, flawless.

Since deep down many of us believe that human beings cannot be perfect, we are chasing a goal that is, by definition, impossible. Not very smart, is it?

When we set our goal as being perfect, we are in a sense setting ourselves up for failure. Anything less than the achievement of perfection is by definition not success.

The pursuit of perfection means that our eyes are only on the outcome, on the final result. The steps we take to get there and what we achieve on the way really do not matter until we have achieved perfection.

It is no wonder that so many of us end up feeling disheartened. What is the point? We tell ourselves, why bother to do anything if we cannot be perfect?

How about exploring a...

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Process versus outcome

parenting productivity Nov 27, 2016

Last week we spent some time talking about what is in our circle of control. Let us revisit that concept in some more depth.

When we are working towards something, whether it is a work related project or parenting to raise successful children, it is easy to keep our focus on the end goal. We see the success of others in what we are trying to accomplish and lose sight of the steps that they took to get there.

But here's the thing: the final outcome of our efforts is almost never in our control. We can try our best and our children may still make choices that we do not agree with. We can work hard at a project at work and still have it not be accepted by our boss.

This is why it is much more useful to focus on the process rather than the outcome.

The process, or steps that it takes to achieve any outcome is well within our circle of control.

This changed focus also makes it more likely that we will enjoy the journey to our destination or goal whatever the outcome will be.

Over the...

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Can you?

Do you ever question yourself about what is possible for you to do?

Leadership and personal growth guru John Maxwell writes in his book, "The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth", that how you ask yourself the question about your abilities greatly determines whether or not you will achieve something.

This is how he says it:

"At first glance, the questions Can I? and How can I? may appear to be very similar. However, the reality is that they are worlds apart in terms of results. Can I? is a question filled with hesitation and doubt. It is a question that imposes limitations. If that is the question you regularly ask yourself, you're undermining your efforts before you even begin. How many people could have accomplished much in life but failed to try because they doubted and answered no to the question 'Can I?'

When you ask yourself, 'How can I?' you give yourself a fighting chance to achieve something. The most common reason people don't overcome the odds is that they don't challenge them...

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The art of complaining

Have you ever been told to stop complaining? Well, I don't think that we should stop complaining.

I believe that complaining is often a very good way to improve things. Effective complaining gives important feedback to people, it can result in better service from companies and employees and it can encourage people to change ineffective behaviour.

We do, however, need to complain in an effective way that is likely to bring about the change that we seek.

Here are the three essentials to an effective complaint:

1) Complain to the right person. Is the person you are complaining to in a position to make changes to what you are complaining about? If so, go ahead. They are the right person to complain to. This is the ONLY person that the complaint should be made to. Everything else is just whining and venting and tiresome to listen to!

2) Complain at the right time. We often make complaints and requests (demands!) for a change of behavior in the middle of a conflict situation. This not...

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Intentions for ourselves and prayers for others(DW#30)

productivity spirituality Nov 03, 2016

When we are interacting with others in life, it is not enough to have intentions for ourselves. Even if we are mindful in every interaction, and have a strong intention to show up in a purposeful way, we need to address the role of the other in the interaction.

While we cannot make intentions for the other, we can certainly say a prayer for them. A prayer that their intentions are realized in the most perfect way.

This is not an agenda or a goal. Once again, it is creating the space for God and the Universe to work a synchronistic outcome that allows both people in an interaction to fulfill their needs, desires and intentions.

Let us take an example. I am in a business (or community work) meeting discussing a potential future project for the organization.


My intention would be to be open to possibilities and allow myself to fully consider all suggestions and opinions so that the best possible outcome could be discovered. My prayer for the others in the meeting would be that they can...

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