Blog

Count your blessings

In Sura Ibrahim (14:34) the Quran says: If you count the favors of Allah you will not be able to number them

As human beings we have the tendency to take our good fortune for granted and pay attention when things get tough. Going through tough times and challenges often results in us having tunnel vision: our focus narrows only to what is NOT going our way and we fail to notice things that are working as they should or are in fact working for our benefit. It is useful to remember that no matter how bad things may seem at a given time, as long as we are breathing there is more right with our lives than wrong, although the wrong may be capturing our attention to a greater extent.

This verse reminds us that while what is going wrong can often be counted on the fingers of one hand, the Blessings and gifts of Allah cannot be enumerated even if we tried.

Scholars explain that the reason we cannot count His favours is because:

– The blessings are so all-pervasive that it is difficult...

Continue Reading...

Walk with humility

In Sura Isra (17:37) Allah says: Do not strut arrogantly about the earth, you cannot break it open, nor match the mountains in height.

We live in a culture which encourages self aggrandization and promotes "struting our stuff". This ayat reminds us that such arrogance in thinking and self congratulatory behaviour is not compatible with leading a spiritual life.

Scholars explain that insolence, or arrogance, or undue elation at our powers or capacities, is the first step to many evils. Pride as the old saying is, goes before a fall. Pride and arrogance keeps our focus on ourselves and prevent us from seeing the big picture and from connecting to others in service. It also gives us a very skewed perspective of our own importance and leads us to devalue others.

In order to keep our balance and perspective, we need to remind ourselves that all our gifts and talents are His Grace and they carry a responsibility of serving a bigger purpose.

The verse also reminds us that what goes on in...

Continue Reading...

Be a garment to your spouse

They are your garments. And you are their garments. Sura Baqara (2:187)

Reflection: In this verse, the Quran uses the metaphor of garments whilst talking about the relationship between the spouses.

Just as garments cover one's body, protect one from the elements, are comfortable and beautify one, the marital relationship is meant to be one of mutual support, comfort and protection.

Clothes are the closest thing to one's body. Nothing comes between a person and his or her clothes. So the analogy of spouses being 'like clothes to one another' implies such a closeness – there is nothing, literally and metaphorically, that should come between spouses.

Why: The person who knows us most intimately, with all our weaknesses and vulnerability is most often our spouse. A relationship of vulnerability and intimacy is only possible when there is emotional safety, when we know that our spouse has our back, will cover our faults and support us and not use what they know about us to hurt us....

Continue Reading...

Be inclusive

In Sura Mujadilah (58:11), it says: O ye who believe! When ye are told to make room in the assemblies (spread out and) make room: (Ample) room will Allah provide for you.

When the Holy Prophet (saw) used to conduct assemblies, his followers would throng around him in their eagerness to get close and hear better what he had to say. This meant that the weaker or more reticent of the people may have been crowded out and inconvenienced due to the enthusiasm of the others.

This simple command contains such a powerful message: that we need to be mindful of others in public spaces and provide equitable opportunities for access.
Scholars explain that the wider meaning of this verse applies to the totality of our social life and "making room for one another" implies the mutual providing of opportunities for a decent life to all - and especially to the needy or handicapped - members of the community.

It is amazing how Allah (swt) encourages us by providing us with the ultimate motivation to do...

Continue Reading...

Offer a sincere greeting

In Sura Nisa (4:86), Allah says: And when you are offered a greeting, respond with a greeting that is better, or return it (with a equal courtesy).

Reflection: One of the easiest ways to build and strengthen social bonds is to greet others sincerely. Islam encourages us to greet one another with the greeting: "Peace be upon you". How beautiful is that since as human beings, peace is what we are ultimately searching for. It is also important to remember that while the initial greeing is highly recommended, a response to the greeting is incumbant upon us.

A hadith informs us that spreading greeetings of peace along with sharing food with others, maintaining family relations and praying in the middle of the night are acts that will grant one Paradise (ref: The Study Quran, pg 231).

Why: When someone reaches out to connect in this way, at the very least we are required to turn towards them with a similar or better greeting. The verse encourages to go further and offer a better greeting....

Continue Reading...

Give full measure

Sura Isra, 17:35 And give full measure when you measure, and weigh with the straight balance. That is better and more virtuous in the end

Reflection: To give full measure when you measure, and weigh with the straight balance means to measure honestly rather than cheating people when trading goods and currency by using a balance that falsely overstates or understates the weight of what has been put upon it. It also means in a general way, to barter or exchange goods fairly and honestly so that what is given is equal to what is received.

Why: Trust is the basis of an evolved society. When transactions are carried out on the basis of trust, transactions are speeded up and less resources are needed for monitoring and accounting. In Switzerland for example, the entire transit system runs on the basis of trust. You buy your own ticket and only very rarely are random checks made. It is even rarer for those checking to catch someone who has not paid.

How: Let us look at our lives and see...

Continue Reading...

Stop the blame game

In Sura Ibrahim, verse 14:22, it says: And do not blame me but blame yourselves.

Reflection: This verse from Surah Ibrahim is part of a conversation when Shaytan is telling mankind that instead of blaming him they should blame themselves.

Blaming others for our choices in life is SO easy isn't it? It also feels good in the moment because we do not have to deal with the pricks of conscience or negative emotions that accompany our poor choices and actions.

Ultimately however, blaming others is immobilizing and creates a feeling of powerlessness.

Why? If we convince ourselves that power and responsibility lies outside of ourselves, and someone else is to blame for what we are doing, it follows that we have no control or agency to change our situation. This leads to a victim mentality. Not a very inspiring way to live, is it?

We have been give free will to make choices in our lives, however limited or unpleasant those choices appear in the moment. When we accept this gift of choice, we...

Continue Reading...

The steps to completing relationships

As we started discussing yesterday, keeping our relationships complete is essential to living a life that matters – if we are not complete with our relationships, it robs our energies from things that we are meant to do. We cannot really focus on bigger things.

Having incomplete relationships really hinders our spiritual growth.

Why? Because we are designed to be in connection – when we are not connected to other human beings on an authentic level, we are not at peace.

Try this for yourself. Think of someone you are not at peace wit, whether you are currently in relationship with this person or not – now reflect on how much (negative) space they occupy in your mind and your heart. It is as if you are energetically connected to them with an invisible cord. Completion is about setting yourself and them free.

Keeping our relationships complete is not difficult. It involves 5 simple steps:


a. Communicating upset and resentment

b. Apologizing

c. Forgiving

d. Expressing...

Continue Reading...

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

This week we are continuing with our series which is inspired by the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. This book by Bronnie Ware, the palliative care nurse who took care of patients in their last three to twelve weeks of life, is about the stories and confessions from people at the end of their life and talks about the regrets people had for how they wished they had made different choices in life.

One of the top regrets of the dying, Ware found, was not making the time for important friendships. Many found that in the busyness of life, they tended to let go of relationships until they fell out of touch with once-good-friends.

She writes, "Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving...

Continue Reading...

The wisdom of silence

Continuing with our series on the timeless wisdom of Imam Ali (as), the quote for today is: "Safety lies in silence. It is easier to rectify what you miss by silence, than to secure what you lose by speaking". Imam Ali (AS)

Have you ever put your foot in your mouth? Said the first thing that came into your head without pausing to consider if it met the criteria for wise speech or if it needed to be said at all?

If you have, you have probably lived to regret such statements. It is so easy to react in the moment and say things which add no value to our life and can cause pain and distress to those we love.

It is helpful to remind ourselves that we lose nothing by pausing, breathing and choosing silence in the moment. Our speech is more impactful if we are intentional in choosing our words, not reacting in the moment.

A mental mantra that I often repeat to get into the habit of pausing before speaking is: "Engage brain before operating mouth".

Try it.

Continue Reading...
Close

50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.