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Do not be wasteful

In Sura Israa (17:26), Allah says: And do not squander wastefully.

Reflection: We are encouraged to be balanced in all aspects of life, including how we spend money and resources. While it is encouraged to use and enjoy the bounties and blessings that we have been given, this needs to be done mindfully and with a concern for the welfare of society, which uses the same resources and of the planet, which bears the brunt of our overconsumption.

The injunction not to be extravagant or wasteful does not relate to the quantity of spending but rather to improvidence or wastefulness. Buying what we need and using what we buy may not be wasteful but when we keep adding to the hordes of things that we already own and do not use, we do need to ask ourselves if this verse would apply to us.

Also, what might be moderate spending for one with means may well be extravagant for another who spends more than they can afford, or one who has to borrow to fulfill greed or to keep up appearances.

Why: We...

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Be a garment to your spouse

They are your garments. And you are their garments. Sura Baqara (2:187)

Reflection: In this verse, the Quran uses the metaphor of garments whilst talking about the relationship between the spouses.

Just as garments cover one's body, protect one from the elements, are comfortable and beautify one, the marital relationship is meant to be one of mutual support, comfort and protection.

Clothes are the closest thing to one's body. Nothing comes between a person and his or her clothes. So the analogy of spouses being 'like clothes to one another' implies such a closeness – there is nothing, literally and metaphorically, that should come between spouses.

Why: The person who knows us most intimately, with all our weaknesses and vulnerability is most often our spouse. A relationship of vulnerability and intimacy is only possible when there is emotional safety, when we know that our spouse has our back, will cover our faults and support us and not use what they know about us to hurt us....

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Be inclusive

In Sura Mujadilah (58:11), it says: O ye who believe! When ye are told to make room in the assemblies (spread out and) make room: (Ample) room will Allah provide for you.

When the Holy Prophet (saw) used to conduct assemblies, his followers would throng around him in their eagerness to get close and hear better what he had to say. This meant that the weaker or more reticent of the people may have been crowded out and inconvenienced due to the enthusiasm of the others.

This simple command contains such a powerful message: that we need to be mindful of others in public spaces and provide equitable opportunities for access.
Scholars explain that the wider meaning of this verse applies to the totality of our social life and "making room for one another" implies the mutual providing of opportunities for a decent life to all - and especially to the needy or handicapped - members of the community.

It is amazing how Allah (swt) encourages us by providing us with the ultimate motivation to do...

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Give from what you love

In Sura Al Imran, [3:92], Allah says: By no means shall you attain to righteousn­ess until you spend (benevolen­tly) out of what you love; and whatever thing you spend, Allah surely knows it.

Reflection­: We all donate and give things away for various reasons: to declutter, to help someone out or to discard things that we no longer need or use. When we are looking to give away, we often reach for things or money that we can spare or that are no longer useful to us.

While this kind of giving may have its benefits, the verse in question is talking about a different kind of giving: giving from what you love most and what may still be useful or valuable to you. While the result of the previous kinds of giving may be a clean house, a decluttere­d envriormen­t or a minilmilis­tic and low-impact lifestyle, giving from what you love has the impact of unattachme­nt to material possession­s, spiritual growth and nearness to the Divine. By severing our...

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Stop the blame game

In Sura Ibrahim, verse 14:22, it says: And do not blame me but blame yourselves.

Reflection: This verse from Surah Ibrahim is part of a conversation when Shaytan is telling mankind that instead of blaming him they should blame themselves.

Blaming others for our choices in life is SO easy isn't it? It also feels good in the moment because we do not have to deal with the pricks of conscience or negative emotions that accompany our poor choices and actions.

Ultimately however, blaming others is immobilizing and creates a feeling of powerlessness.

Why? If we convince ourselves that power and responsibility lies outside of ourselves, and someone else is to blame for what we are doing, it follows that we have no control or agency to change our situation. This leads to a victim mentality. Not a very inspiring way to live, is it?

We have been give free will to make choices in our lives, however limited or unpleasant those choices appear in the moment. When we accept this gift of choice, we...

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Developing a personal relationship with the Quran

Today we begin a series of conversations on the love letter of the Divine to mankind – the Holy Quran. His word, sent to comfort and guide us through our life on this planet until we meet Him.

What does the Quran mean to you?

What role does it play in your daily life?

Does it guide you when you are confused, stop you from harm, encourage you towards good, comfort you when you are distressed, heal you when you are sick?

In Sura Isra (17:82), Allah says: We send down from the Quran what is a cure and a mercy to the faithful.

Such a beautiful verse. The medicine is here. But often we are so enraptured with the wrapping of the medicine that we do not unwrap and ingest it so that it may heal us spiritually, emotionally and physically.


So let us unwrap this medicine and partake of its healing mercy by developing a close personal relationship with the Quran.

Let's see how we can do this as simply and practically as possible.

We will, In sha Allah, be covering some action verses of...

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Welcoming the month of Ramadan

During the holy month of Ramadan, we will inshallah be focusing on living the message of the Quran in our daily lives.

We inshallah take a verse a day and explore how we can live the timeless message of the Quran in the 21st century. As always, it is intended that the Daily Wisdom emails will be short, inspirational, action oriented and applicable to dealing with challenges of modern life.

If you have already receiving the Daily Wisdom, you will continue to receive the Ramadan edition. If you are not currently receiving it, please sign up here to get it in your box every weekday. You will NOT get it if you are not signed up.

Today inshallah, lets reflect on the Sermon of the Holy Prophet (saw) welcoming the month of Ramadan. If you would like to listen to an audio version, please click here.

The Holy Prophet (saw) addressed his followers on the day before Ramadan and said:

O People !
Indeed the blessed month of Allah has approached you laden with His Mercy, blessings and...

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The Focus Question

Have you ever found a brilliant solution to a problem that did not fix the problem because you realised that what you solved was the wrong problem!

This happens all the time in relationship consulting. Couples will often come with a list of complaints that seem easy to solve. When issues are resolved, they realise that it was not the real issue. 

It takes some experience and training to figure on that it is more helpful to focus on the real problem, not the first problem.

In The Coaching Habit, Stanier suggests that a simple and effective way to get to the real problem is to ask: "What's the real challenge here for you?"
 
The question as is it written pins the question to the person you are talking to rather than having abstract discussions about what the issue is. It brilliantly focuses on how the issue is impacting the person who is looking for a solution.
 
I find that this is also a great question to ask myself when I am struggling with an issue. It truly is "The...

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Resist the temptation to rescue

family relationship May 14, 2017

Resist the temptation to rescue

 
Salaams and Good Morning !

Here is your daily dose of Wisdom for Living Your Best Self!

Most of us are leaders in one or more spheres of our lives, whether we are parenting our children, managing teams at work or working with colleagues. In a leadership role, we may be approached to provide answers or solutions to various issues or problems. "How should I do this", we may be asked in various different ways.

If you are like most people, you want to help, to solve the problem or provide a solution that will make the other's life or work easier.

Some of us are extra keen to help. We have our solution hats on and are dishing out solutions freely and rampantly.

So eager are we that we may not even stop to consider that:
"Even though we don't really know what the issue is, we're quite sure we've got the answer they need."
 
This gem of a quote is from The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay...

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The steps to completing relationships

As we started discussing yesterday, keeping our relationships complete is essential to living a life that matters – if we are not complete with our relationships, it robs our energies from things that we are meant to do. We cannot really focus on bigger things.

Having incomplete relationships really hinders our spiritual growth.

Why? Because we are designed to be in connection – when we are not connected to other human beings on an authentic level, we are not at peace.

Try this for yourself. Think of someone you are not at peace wit, whether you are currently in relationship with this person or not – now reflect on how much (negative) space they occupy in your mind and your heart. It is as if you are energetically connected to them with an invisible cord. Completion is about setting yourself and them free.

Keeping our relationships complete is not difficult. It involves 5 simple steps:


a. Communicating upset and resentment

b. Apologizing

c. Forgiving

d. Expressing...

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