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Higher highs and lows(DW #820)

If we have bad days and go off track, how do we know that we are still on the path of self-growth and not in fact, truly regressing?
 
Because although we will have highs and lows, our highs will be higher AND our lows will be higher too.
 
Our baby steps and compounded progress on the journey will mean that

1)   Our good days are better than the previous good days

2)   Our bad days are not quite so bad as our previous bad days and

3)   Overall, we have more good days than bad days.

 
If we take time to pause and notice, we may even find that our bad days are better than what our good days used to be.

And that, my friends, is progress!
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Setbacks and relapses(DW #819)

We all have days when we fall short of our standards for ourselves and feel disappointed, even hopeless in our perceived lack of progress.

At least I do.

It is just part of the process. Set backs and relapses into old habits and ways of being do not signal lack of progress because:

GROWTH IS NOT LINEAR.

Growth does not occur in one beautiful, straight line from where you are to where you want to be. Growth looks more like a jagged zig zag line than a straight up-and-to-the-right line.

As George Leonard tells us: As we negotiate our path of mastery and let go of old habits, we need to have a "willingness to take one step back for every two forward, sometimes vice versa."

Sometimes vice versa!! This means that sometimes, on the journey, it will appear that you are taking only one step forward and two or three or four steps backwards.

The trick is to recognize the back slide AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. And get back on track.

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Going off track(DW #818)

communication trimtab Oct 14, 2020
Yesterday we talked about how great ships can be steered by a tiny Trimtab on the back of the ship on the radar.
 
Today, let us explore another lesson from another means of transportation.
 
Airplanes. When we are flying high above the clouds, we can rest easy knowing that the pilot has a flight plan and a destination.
 
What we may not know, however, is that planes are off course about 90% of the time on the journey!
 
Yes. 90% of the time for the duration of the flight, air traffic and weather cause the flight to go off the flight plan.
 
Here is how Stephen Covey explains it in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families:
 
Before the plane takes off, the pilots have a flight plan. They know exactly where they’re going and start off in accordance with their plan. But during the course of the flight, wind, rain, turbulences, air traffic, human error, and other factors act upon that plane. They move it slightly in different directions so that...
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What is your Trimtab?(DW #817)

Do you know what a Trimtab is?

It is a small six-inch wide strip of metal attached by hinges to the trailing edge of a ship’s rudder. As an engine’s hydraulics force the Trimtab into the path of oncoming water, the pressure generated against it assists the rudder in making its turn.

The Trimtab was invented to solve a critical engineering problem at the height of World War II. As the war raged on the high seas,  ever-larger battle ships were needed. As the ships grew in size, their steering mechanisms required more power to turn their rudders than their engines could produce. The tiny Trimtab was able to turn and change the course of gigantic ships with minimal power and effort. The  revolutionary invention of the Trimtab not only solved this crucial military problem, it also created a new paradigm for human greatness.

It has always fascinated me how such a tiny piece on the rudder of the ship can change the direction of the huge ship.

And it seems that...

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The compound effect of change(DW #816)

Even those of us who are minimally financially savvy, may have heard about compounding savings or the magic of the doubling penny.

Here is how it is often explained:

You have two choices:


1. You receive $2.5m in cash today.

Or…

 

2. You get a penny and then you will get double of the previous sum every day for a month.

 

What should you choose? The $2.5m today or the doubling penny?

 

Well, if this choice presented itself in February, you would be better off with the $2.5m. After 28 days, your doubling penny is worth "only" $1.3m.

 

But for ALL OTHER MONTHS, you would be better off choosing the penny today.

 

Here is the math:

 

That one penny goes from 1 cent  to 2 cents to 4 cents to 8 to 16 to 32 to 64 to over a dollar in 8 days … (slow progress, right?)

 

And then it starts to take off. As it keeps doubling over the month, it becomes $1.34m after 28 days and then it leaps from $1.34m to $2.7m on Day 29. Then from $2.7m to...
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Speaking of congratulations . . .(DW #815)

How often do we stop, reflect on how far we have come, acknowledge progress and celebrate small and big wins?
Turns out, this is rather important for motivation and change.
So today, take a few moments to congratulate yourself for any progress that you have made till today in the different areas of your life.

For those of us who are super self-critical, this will be challenging and feel weird.

That is okay. Do it anyway.

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The Kaizen way to change(DW #814)

Continuing our conversation on being patient with the process of progress and growth, let us explore the Japanese concept of Kaizen
The word Kaizen translates as ‘continual improvement.’ It is improvement of the very small kind. Small tweaks and what we would call baby steps.

The philosophy of kaizen suggests that great and lasting success is achieved not through huge leaps, but rather by taking small and consistent steps.

These are changes so tiny and steps so small that they dissolve and overcome the mind’s resistance to change.

So think about it. What needs to change in your life? What is the first tiny TINY step that you can take to get on the path of progress?
Can you do one push up? Five jumping jacks? Walk 50 steps more than you normally do?

Sleep 10 minutes earlier?

Get up 10 minutes earlier?

Eat one salad leaf?

Do five minutes of meditation?

If so, please do this today. And once you do, you are officially on the path of progress.

Congratulations. ...

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Always do your best(DW #813)

Do you have good days and bad days? Days when it is easy to live up to your ideal self and other days it is a struggle?
Yes? Me too.

This is normal.

If we remove the idea of perfection from the equation, we will become more comfortable with the idea that doing our best will change from day to day.

There will be days when we have slept well, had a good morning and are easily able to be our best selves. Being patient with our families and able to focus on work and be productive.
And other days, not so much.

We may be tired, hungry, "hangry", have "woken up from the wrong side of the bed", are overwhelmed with work or family dramas. Our best on days like this will not be as stellar as an easy day.
We can still do our best, taking into account everything that is going on in our lives.

This kind of thinking is so freeing. Please try it for yourself.
If you are struggling during the pandemic to be as patient or productive as you would like to be, it will be a great time to practice...

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Being patient with the process(DW #812)

Once we shine the light of awareness on ourselves and confront what needs work, it is so tempting to want to fix things overnight. We may think, ok I got it. I need to work on my anger, my reactivity, my consistency, my emotional regulation, my tendency towards distraction  . . . .etc. etc. etc. Now that I have recognized it and made an intention, it should be fixed right?
 
Nope. Sorry to tell you that it does not work that way.
 
Given that we have lived many years (or decades) with this kind of thinking or behaviour, it is unreasonable to expect that it will be easy to change. (Sometimes it is, but that is generally the exception and not the rule).
 
We need to remind ourselves that we need to go slow, progress step by step and above all, be patient with ourselves.

Why, you ask? What does patience have to do with this? Should I not be motivating myself with being strict with myself?
 
Here’s the thing: if you get lost in self-criticism and...
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The discomfort of self-awareness(DW #811)

Self-awareness, as we have mentioned before, is the first step on the journey of self-growth. We cannot really deal with something we are not even aware of.

Here is how Don Miguel Ruiz puts it in The Four Agreements: "The first step toward personal freedom is awareness. We need to be aware that we are not free in order to be free. We need to be aware of what the problem is in order to solve the problem."

Self-awareness, however, is not a comfortable feeling, ESPECIALLY before we have had a chance to address and change what we have become aware of.

 
When we first become aware of our shortcomings, we can begin to feel despondent and hopeless. We may feel impatient with ourselves and wonder why we have still so much work to do on ourselves.
 
At times like this, we need to remind ourselves to

"Encourage yourself by remembering that any detection of negativity within you is a positive act, not a negative one.Awareness of your weakness and confusion makes...
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