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Spiritual Prime Time (DW#396)

By the Grace and Mercy of the All Compassionate, we are fortunate to witness another Ramadan, the month of mercy and blessings. 

Ramadan continues the practice of many great faith traditions of the world which encourage fasting and keeping away from distractions of the body as a way of elevating the spirit. 

During this sacred time, this "Spiritual Prime Time", many of us begin to pause and start reflecting on what really matters. We turn our attention away from the material and towards the spiritual, we begin to focus on our self growth and then reach out to family, friends and to those in need.

Ramadan has been called the spring of the soul because the conditions are optimal for the seeds of guidance within us to bear fruit. One of the best fertilizers in this springtime of the soul are the words of the Holy Quran, the "healing for the hearts" that can revitalize our hearts and souls. 

So like last Ramadan, let us reflect on a verse from the Holy Book...

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The law of modeling (DW#395)

The Law of Modeling says that "It’s hard to Improve When You Have No One but Yourself to Follow."  

Whatever we are trying to achieve in life, someone else has already done it and is successful at it. Maxwell’s law of modeling is about finding mentors and role models that you can follow and work with to achieve what you want to. 

Although Maxwell talks about finding a mentor or a coach to work with you on your journey, I believe that we can use the law of modeling much more broadly. 

For example, if you want to improve your communication, look around you. Do you know an excellent communicator? Notice how they speak and how well they listen. What makes them effective? 

Do you want to become healthier? Who do you know has transformed their fitness and health levels for the better? What did they do and how did they do it? 

Even if we are successful in one domain of our lives, we can learn and model in other areas of our lives. For me the law of modeling...

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The law of curiosity (DW#394)

Have you noticed how curious children are? They constantly want to know how things work or why they are the way they are. They rarely accept things at face value, an explanation is almost always required. 

As we age, many of us begin to lose this natural curiosity. 
In order to grow, learn something new or get better at anything, we need to get our curiosity back. 

Maxwell suggests ten ways to re-cultivate our natural curiosity. Here are my favorites: 

Have a Beginner’s Mind-Set

When you first begin something, a job, a hobby, a sport, or anything else, it is natural to be curious and ask questions. We are not expected to step into something new knowing all the answers. But as we gain experience, we are expected to stop with the questions and curiosity.

Maxwell says that in order to grow, we must keep our beginners’ mind-set. Instead of being a know it all who see themselves as experts, beginners spend their time asking questions like "how can we do...

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What are you willing to give up? (DW#393)

Many of us want to do it all and have it all. 

A wise teacher of mine once told me: yes, you CAN have it all – just not at the same time! 

She was trying to explain what Maxwell calls the Law of Trade-Offs: that you have to give up something in the short term to get something in the long term. 

If we want to grow in the health domain and get fitter for example, we have to give up the desire to sit on the couch in the short term to gain health in the long term. To put it another way, we need to be able to delay instant gratification in order to reap greater rewards later. 

Given that all of us have limited time and resources, this law makes sense, right? I remember when I was writing the book, I gave up watching TV for a whole year. It was not easy in the short term but soooo fulfilling when it got done. 

What are working on and what are you willing to trade to get it done? 

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The law of environment (DW#392)

Maxwell reminds us that growth thrives in conducive surroundings. 

In nature, spring is the time for growth when conditions are right with warmer temperatures, longer days and more sunlight. On the other hand, when environmental conditions are not ideal, growth is stunted or delayed. 

Similarly, for human beings to reach their full potential, we can flourish in the right environment. You and I experience personal growth when we surround ourselves with people and opportunities conducive to our development.

So what are some indications of an environment conducive to growth? 

A place where we are continually challenged: A good growth environment puts pressure on us to improve. If our daily work is too easy or comfortable, then we shortchange ourselves and stunt our development. It’s okay and even healthy for us to be in over our heads from time to time. It forces us to swim against the current so to speak and we grow stronger as a result. 

A place...

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The Laws of Growth (DW#391)

In The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, John Maxwell writes that the way to reach our full potential and live a life of purpose is to choose a path of intentional growth. In explaining the "Laws of Growth" he suggests that personal development and growth follow set principles and laws that can be discovered and applied for sustained personal growth. 

This week, let us explore 5 of the 15 laws that Maxwell teaches us. 

The law of consistency: How many times have we heard or read something inspirational, tried it for a few days and then forgot all about it? According to Maxwell, the key to turning these lessons and motivations into permanent change is his fifth law of growth, the law of consistency. Maxwell says that the key to this law is that motivation gets you going, but discipline, keeps you growing. Discipline turns motivation and inspiration into habits and our habits determine our growth.

I love the way Steven Pressfield puts it in his...

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Can you grow comfortably? (DW#390)

When we are talking about making changes, we need to confront the reality that it will be uncomfortable. Our habits and routines may feel familiar and comfortable even if they do not work for usor lead us where we want to go. If we want to make positive changes in our lives however, we need to let go of the familiar and get comfortable with not being comfortable for the moment. 

When I want to retreat towards safety rather than moving forward towards growth, I remind myself that ships are safe in harbour but that is not what ships are built for

So let us leave our safe harbours and venture out to the scary but exciting open sea. Let us be brave enough to bear the discomfort of stretching ourselves to discover the limits of our own potential. 

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What’s your excuse? (DW#389)

Can you think of at least one area in your life where there is room for growth and where you know you need to make changes but you haven’t made any progress yet?

In The 15 invaluable Laws of Growth John Maxwell outlines some gaps and limiting beliefs that keep us stuck in unhealthy ways and stop us from reaching our full potential.

Here are the 7 "gaps" that he identifies:

The Assumption Gap—I assume that I will automatically grow. 
The Knowledge Gap—I don’t know how to grow.
The Timing Gap—It’s not the right time to begin.
The Mistake Gap—I’m afraid of making mistakes. 
The Perfection Gap—I have to find the best way before I start. 
The Inspiration Gap—I don’t feel like doing it.
The Comparison Gap—Others are better than I am.
The Expectation Gap—I thought it would be easier than this. 

You know the domains and growth areas that we identified a couple of days ago? Just go...

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Where does family fit in? (DW#388)

After yesterday’s DW went out, some of you asked the question: which domain of life do family relationships fit in? (The domains we mentioned were mental, physical, emotional, social and spiritual relating to our minds, bodies, hearts and souls).

Strictly speaking, family relationships belong in the emotional domain of our life along with our other close relationships. This means that if any of our major relationships are conflicted, we will likely give ourselves a low score in that domain, implying that there is much room for growth in this area.

Family relationships however, are in a somewhat special category because our satisfaction with (or lack of satisfaction with) family life impacts all the other domains: there is loads of research on how a happy or unhappy marriage for example, impacts physical and mental health. So if our close relationships are causing us distress, that is likely to show up as a low score on our mental wellbeing and physical health due to stress.

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Where do you need to grow? (DW#387)

As we said, we need self-awareness to begin the process of growth and self development. 

But here’s the thing: we don’t know what we don’t know. How then do we recognize a growth edge or opportunity in our lives? How do we shift it from the unconscious zone in our minds and bring it into conscious awareness?

Here is one idea: break down your life into domains: mental, physical, social, emotional and spiritual. Give yourself a score from 1 – 10 in each domain to assess how well you are doing or how satisfied you are in this domain of your life. 

Hint: when giving yourself a score, consider not only yourself but your loved ones as well. What do they most complain about you? This question can reveal some personal blind-spots we may have by shining the light of awareness on them. 

Now ask yourself: Am I happy where I am? What would it mean for me and my life if I could move from a 6 to an 8 in the physical/health domain, for example? How would my life...

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